Nervous Nelly

It's all becoming real.
I thought about making my own comic book for years.plotted,planned,wrote,rewrote.but nothing prepares you,
For the terror.

I contacted an artist ,told him  what wanted,
sent some PayPal money based on a rough sketch
 and prayed to jebus it would all come good.
And it did, the sketch was unbelievable,
my long held imaginary character was on my screen looking cool as hell.
There  has been no elation in my life that comes close to seeing my dream realised ,
I was happy for days ,I bounced around
showing everyone my picture on my crappy old phone screen.
people were excited for me and wished me luck.
so why was I so nervous??

Because it was all so real,
Because it could all be taken away from me
by vast impersonal forces beyond my control.
Because people might not like my stuff.
There we have it
The other reasons
 while valid were not the truth about why i was so dam shaky all the time.

It was the small child,
afraid of his first day of school
saying "what if they don't like me??"
Well what if?
What if I ran home and hid under my bed ?
what if I let the fear rule me?

Then I'd never get anything done.