Coming out
Safe and anonymous on the other end of my PC,
I could quite easily call the whole thing of and no one would ever know.
So of course I had to eliminate that comforting exit strategy.
My siblings dont know I write at all,I've simply never discussed it with them.
WE are very working class ,saying to them "I'm going to be a writer"
is like saying
"I intend to fly to uranus and set up a business making dreamcatchers "??
It simply doesn't happen in our world.
People like us simply dont dare dream about stuff like that.
Its never said out loud,but when every artist, comedian and creative type you ever see on television
is of a higher social class you get the message from birth straight into your subconscious
"dont even consider it an option".
My work in productions companies as a young man reinforced this even more.
My work colleagues were all paid I was not
they all spoke like the queen I did not
they all shared stories about growing up in big country houses I did not
They also had something I didn't , the confidence that they belonged there.
when I stuck out like a sore thumb.I had struggled to get this unpaid placement and was appalled at how lazy ,stupid and incompetent some of the paid staff were.
were they fired?
no of course not
they belonged there.
was I offered a job after my placement ended ?
of course not
on to the next pikey sucker ,please.
Thinking back even the lady I replaced whose placement had just ended when i had started was also working class.
Good enough to answer phones make tea,but not really our sort of people,right??
Any way mindless tangents aside
I told my baby brother about the whole endeavour .
rumours will spread
what's the crazy bastard up to?
what's he think he's doing?
doesn't he know its not for people like us?
they'll laugh at him.
what happens if he fails.
What if i dont ?
I could quite easily call the whole thing of and no one would ever know.
So of course I had to eliminate that comforting exit strategy.
My siblings dont know I write at all,I've simply never discussed it with them.
WE are very working class ,saying to them "I'm going to be a writer"
is like saying
"I intend to fly to uranus and set up a business making dreamcatchers "??
It simply doesn't happen in our world.
People like us simply dont dare dream about stuff like that.
Its never said out loud,but when every artist, comedian and creative type you ever see on television
is of a higher social class you get the message from birth straight into your subconscious
"dont even consider it an option".
My work in productions companies as a young man reinforced this even more.
My work colleagues were all paid I was not
they all spoke like the queen I did not
they all shared stories about growing up in big country houses I did not
They also had something I didn't , the confidence that they belonged there.
when I stuck out like a sore thumb.I had struggled to get this unpaid placement and was appalled at how lazy ,stupid and incompetent some of the paid staff were.
were they fired?
no of course not
they belonged there.
was I offered a job after my placement ended ?
of course not
on to the next pikey sucker ,please.
Thinking back even the lady I replaced whose placement had just ended when i had started was also working class.
Good enough to answer phones make tea,but not really our sort of people,right??
Any way mindless tangents aside
I told my baby brother about the whole endeavour .
rumours will spread
what's the crazy bastard up to?
what's he think he's doing?
doesn't he know its not for people like us?
they'll laugh at him.
what happens if he fails.
What if i dont ?
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